I will here share some of the findings I made regarding my self before compiling my NY's resolutions list:
To begin with, I will start with the most shocking and groundbreaking discovery I am quite glad to have made at a still 'fragile' age: We cannot, and therefore, should not rely on others for our own happiness. Yes, I know it is hard and probably seems impossible to many of you right now, however I ensure you this is the only road to real, indestructible happiness. I am guilty of relying way too many times on another person's predisposition/mood/feelings in order to have me feeling good and satisfied. I can justify such past behavior by saying that something in me did it because I cared for that person, more than I wanted and I was so weak that he could influence me. Well, I could say that. From the place I am currently at, it seems as if I were the one to blame, not the other person. I was selfish enough to place the burden of my own well-being in another person's hands. I know I would never disappoint myself if I have to trust me and only me to be happy. Lesson learned. No one is responsible for your happiness but YOU.
You know what else? Planning for the future sucks big time. So hereby I make a resolution to not plan anything farther than 3 months ahead. Let's be real, everyone does it; we are programmed by some unknown 'higher' hidden force or power to do so. Do you ever question why you keep planning for things to do in the future and keep postponing stuff for 'later on' in life, or - my favorite of all - for 'when the right time comes'? How can people be so convinced they will actually HAVE all that time at their hands? It truly starts to piss me off seeing young people act as if their life is over because it is not up to their perfect taste or liking. Get up and do something about it, will ya? Personally, I am thirsty for life and do not and cannot wait until whenever later on. Yes, great things might happen, but why not go for some already now? All it takes is a step forward and the ability to shun from others' opinions as they are most certainly the force dragging you back.
I do not want to fear, do you? With no fear I can live my days openly, fully, satisfyingly and with no regret. I want to experience, see, travel, swim in the thick waters of the unknown, which will test my reflexes and remind me in every single moment that I am alive. And I will be grateful for it. We forget way too often this is a blessing, to be here, right now. Some religious people might correct me here that it is actually the other way round - here and now is where we are punished and tested. Hm, seriously, take a look around, don't we have this beautiful world to discover?
And, finally, here are my resolutions for this new and lovely 2014 year:
I will continue to BE ME
I will go on with my YOGA practice and REACH new heights
I will try to bring down to minimum my tendency to act like a DRAMA QUEEN
I will gain more KNOWLEDGE every day
I will see it all in PINK
I will keep spreading ENERGY inexhaustibly
I will learn to LET GO
I will study and LEARN German
I will manage to MEDITATE without having a billion thoughts in my mind
I will be OPEN to new opportunities and possibilities
I will learn how to MISS WITHOUT being SAD
I will continue to FIGHT OFF the widespread frustration, aimlessness and feeling of worthlessness some individuals try to get under my skin
I will RELAX and teach others to as well
I will find more things to APPRECIATE within me
I will continue SMILING, every chance I get
I will LOVE
In brief, I intend to
How about you?