To Bee Back Home

So here I am everyone, back to homeland for the past 6 months. It is unbelievable how time flies when it is nice.

Home is a very abstract term for me as I tend to consider myself a cosmopolitan and like to make home wherever I am, but I have to admit to something my dad used to tell me every time I was about to take off to somewhere - only home can give you the peace and re-charge you wish to have. Yes, I can now also stand behind this statement. Home is not a technologically-advanced urban metropolis with flying high speed trains and hurrying up businessmen dressed in black. And this is exactly why I love being here right now. It is true that life looks much more relaxed and slow for me in particular as I am actually unemployed and simply taking time for my family and myself. But hey, people get to see their parents and high school friends much more often than I do. I had to actually take time off the world I built in for myself to do that. One thing I am happy I learnt to is trust my gut regardless of how crazy it might seem.

Enough of the serious thought-producing stuff. Let's see what is the fun and cool part about being home :)

The cat 

We have a cat! Yes, yes, a real living animal toy, oops, I did not mean to say toy :-D This creature is so much fun and surprisingly clever, extremely curious and super fun. You can forget about ever eating anything peacefully. This little thing has a natural sense for someone preparing to munch any kind of food, it knows, jumps, rolls and appears out of nowhere exactly in front of your mouth. She wanted to steal my kiwi just now.

The old funny little things
Entering my old room at home after long periods of time always feels like some sort of treasure hunt and time for great discoveries. Because of the past! I am one of those people who like to keep even candy wrappers if they remind them of something. I'm really terrible in this. All of my Eminem, Leo Di Caprio, Backstreet Boys and so on posters are still here, in my room! 

Getting the child-treatment
At 26 one would think that we no longer fall under the children category. Well, I was wrong. According to my mom I am still that kid, the one she has to ask where she's going, why she's wearing what she is wearing and what time she is coming back. Oh boy, was that difficult to get used to?! I admit it, it tended to annoy me at the beginning but then I realized that whatever we do we will never stop being the 'children' in our parents' eyes. I sat down and explained to mommy how I can handle my self as I have learnt to do so in the past 7 years so there is no need for the constant investigation and worrying. Imma grown up now, at least most of the time.

Everything is new

I sure look funny turning head to every direction exploring what is new and what is still there where I remember it to be; asking people about a club, whose name changed 10 times since then; going to a shop I used to know just to find a pub there.. yeah, stuff like that! Consider the pros though: I am always curios, I want to try and experience the simplest (and probably dullest for the others) things and I tend to be thankful and happy for my every encounter be it with a bird or a dog on the street. Why all this bizarre behavior you would ask? Very simple, my friends - I have forgotten it all so it is all like new to me, and I love it! All of it. Even the rain (which is not such a frequent happening, phew). 

:-)

Mars 1

So apparently they are sending people over to Mars. Yep, the planet. The first human colony is scheduled to leave the Earth at end of 2023. This implies we have got 10 years before we find out whether we can possibly 'infect' with our presence yet another planet. They call it the plan for saving our species. I ask: 'why save us?'

Credit to: www.telegraph.co.uk 

Take a look around. I don't know where you at exactly right now, but from where I see it people generally do not care about the Earth or their life for that matter. They think and fool themselves deeply that they do, but they don't. Almost nobody cares about recycling, re-using and re-inventing. It is all about the show off, the posing and pretending. Everyone tries to win God knows what by adding fancy shoes, jewelry and fast cars to their inventory. They all try to teach you how to live and make you believe that the important things in 'this' life are the ones they say are.

Credit: globusnews.net

I will tell you a tale of a time not too long ago but seemingly way too long ago. People used to appreciate completely different values than we do in today's world. It all struck me while driving by a small village in the Northern mountain part of Bulgaria. When a certain household was considered very good, well-behaved and particularly friendly, they obtained and were given by the municipality a special plate to hang on their front door. What was written on it was 'Role Model Household' or as written in Cyrillic 'Образцов Дом'. It was an utmost appreciation one could publicly get. It shows that people cared about what other people think of them. For better or worse, we do not seem to bother any longer.
I personally - as surprising as this might be for some - don't believe in shoes and cars; I believe in people. I want to live, be with and love people. Not a Louis Vuitton bag, not a Bentley, but human beings. I am still unsure what it is exactly but sometimes I really like this kind.

I caught a very special documentary on TV last night about Titanic. A century after the tragic accident, a man has managed to prove it was not a human mistake. The captain was not drunk and the watchers were not asleep. Titanic just seems to have had a predetermined bad luck - it found itself in this particular spot of the North Atlantic where: mirages occur (hence the watchers saw a mist instead of the iceberg until it was way too late); the Gulf stream gives a way to the cold Labrador current (just a kilometer before that spot the temperature was 14 degrees higher); there were optical illusions present - the starts seemed so bright that one could not distinguish whether a light sign from Titanic was another star or not. Sounds crazy? To me it sounds too arranged; those people were simply left with no way out by mother Nature.

What I am trying to say here is that evidently Nature can and will sabotage anything it deems improper. Will humans make it to Mars? I don't think this is up to us. Let's stop being so cocky, arrogant and pretentious, let's go back to being role model households and individuals, can we? One thing is for sure - let us face it, we can't fool Nature. We DO NOT own the world. It owns US!

Honeycomb of Curiosities

My dear readers, here is another creation of art I have just finished creating. Hope you enjoy it and please find my artist statement below to actually understand what this is all about :) I am sure it can be confusing at first sight. 

For this project - assignment I had by the name Personal Collections, I drew my own representation of a honeycomb inside a beehive. I drew using color pencils and also painted with water paints on a paper from a sketch book. After that I built up the walls of the honeycomb using a paper bag which I stuck with glue on top of my painted image.

The idea behind my artwork is my connection to bees. My name - Maya - is already a link I have to bees since a child, as there is a very famous cartoon about a bee called Maya. I always liked bees. Even though I have been stung on various occasions, I still like them, probably even more so! Bees collect nectar and pollen from plants and bring it to the beehive to produce the elixir of life - the honey. In a similar manner I wish to represent my collecting process through the years, therefore I placed in the hexagons representing cells in a honeycomb some exemplars of what has been of interest to me while growing up. In the cells you can see old coins, small hotel soaps, stuffed animal toy, coffee creamer lids, postal stamps, small toys one usually gets from a chocolate egg, bubblegum wrappers, beads, various shiny jewelry items as well as plastic diamonds and glass balls.

My cabinet of curiosity does not have a lid as it is open for interaction with its audience; people can touch and explore the items inside the cells to get an even better idea of the contents I have chosen. Picking and arranging this colorful mix of items was an important activity for me as it reminded of my childhood, of what I have kept of interest and what I have forgotten. More importantly though, this mix showed me what I should remember back.

I created this artwork to express some part of my secret personality, the one which loves to collect things, things which might not mean anything to others but mean or meant a lot to me. I believe collecting these particular pieces reflected some thoughts, hopes, plans, dreams I had for the future and most probably helped me be the person I am today, one way or another.

The Future of Mankind

Wondering what this is? I called it the Future of Mankind and it is my latest - just fresh out of the oven - artwork! Aaahh, I really do love to take time and just create anything as it comes to my mind. Well, this time it was with purpose as this is actually coursework for an online course I have enrolled. Still wondering what this is all about? Hereunder you can read my artist statement describing the idea behind :)

During the art making process I browsed through lots of magazines where I found inspiration and the images I consequently cut out. I mainly used collage technique, I painted a bit using water paint and I drew a small bit, namely the wings of the girl.

The idea behind my artwork is that according to me mankind has reached a tipping point where we will either fall badly or will wake up and get back to nature. This is exactly what the girl falling from up symbolizes. The right side of the art plane represents the current society – all kinds of fake (represented by the woman’s face and the Botox injection) and the struggle to find happiness and meaning to life by buying a material thing (represented by the life potion in a test-tube). The left side of the picture plane symbolizes Mother Nature – the ultimate goal, at least in my opinion, which humans should go for. We need to regain consciousness, remember what are the important things in life and how simplicity and nature are all we need. The image of the girl which is falling is located in the middle, in the boundary between those two worlds. She can change it all but the question remains – will she be able to spread the wings which she has forgotten she has? The elephant in the picture symbolizes nature waiting impatiently for the outcome of that fall. We can see hope in there too – the elephant has captured the girl’s boot in anticipation to have her back on the ground and give it to her which will eventually represent the bonding between the two worlds.

I created this artwork as a clear outcome of my recent thoughts, feelings and intentions. I wish for my audience to really grasp the idea and feel in their heart what is really going on in this world, I wish for everyone to open their eyes and see what we have become – greedy and never-happy creatures. Once awake and aware, we can all work our way back to Nature’s heart and hopefully live in peace and harmony.  

So what do you think? Hit me up, please! 

Keep digging.. NOT

I used to like thinking, occasionally. And then I got freed from it. I was happy. What happened?

Something messes my head a little bit and there we go again on that same old rusty merry-go-round. Why did he do that, why did I do that, what does that mean, who hides what - it seems we cannot function without over-thinking and complicating matters. We cannot judge life and people by the deeds only, can we, but always gotta dig deeper and look for.. God knows what really? We keep digging though, and going crazier in the process. Why can't we stop and have enough of it, enough of what we have and not look further any longer? We can't.

Makes me wonder who with a right mind created us so things-oriented instead of mindful, compassionate and vision-oriented!? Oh, wait, I guess we did this ourselves? The fat question standing now right in front of me, you and us is whether we still have what it takes to reverse this and go back to being humans in the first place and consuming machines in the second.

Road writings

I feel it now, the thing everyone talks about and we all aspire to have. Freedom is so inspiring. It feels as if the sun is always shining, even at night, even when it is raining. The freedom to miss a bus and hop on the next one. The freedom to dance on the last seat of that bus without being bothered whether someone sees. The freedom to roll and lie on the crispy green grass meadows even if you are no longer 5 years old. Freedom is enjoying every single thing, word, noise, touch, smell, feeling; nothing taken for granted, everything accepted as is. It is truly liberating this not-taking-things-seriously and being busy feeling life but you will not believe me until you try it. And when you do, I promise you will be high for this sensational melting feeling.

Am I going crazy or ever more sane? I feel the bliss for finally experiencing what life should be about - joy from simply being. Seeing a tree and being happy for it is there in front of me; loving playing with the kitty for it is another joyful careless being; smiling back at fierce critics for it is the way to fight them back with no harm and show a higher state of mind. No, I am not a superhero but I detect and can breakaway the mental prison walls we all build. At least I try, I need your help as it will come from within. Do you want it?



Liberty, freedom, space, sweet emptiness = all words describing the one and only peace of mind. And your heart, what about the heart's peace you would ask? Once you calm your mind it will transfer to your heart filling it up with love and appreciation for the moment. You'd wish to spread wings and hug the world, embrace the beauty of silence and gaze in people's eyes to feel their energy. Feel, it is how we know we are alive!!!

When you know it is time to..

The time has come when you start feeling your fingers itch and your feet constantly want to move even while asleep. I have to go, I need to, no one told me, I felt it.

Sometimes it is hard to tell whether a shot in the dark will actually hit anything, but I am determined to hit. My target is new peace of mind, new state of mind, new purpose. My life is exciting, never boring, always moving and this is why I have to keep going with my gut - I just change to keep it the same.

I keep remembering every now and then this quote a lecturer told us once: 'The only constant thing in life is change.' If you are afraid of change, then you are afraid of life, and we have to love life even simply for the fact that we have been given it, it is the biggest gift!

The aching to be free of all prejudice and people's plans for me, yes, I will stand up against it and fight for me, for my own direction. Whatever that will be.

My 2012 accomplishments

Wow, another year gone like in a day.

Do we not feel time passing by due to an abundance of emotions and happenings or simply because we are living life in the fast lane not paying attention?
I know I did take time to give in to the moments.

This has been a marvelous year full of so much to share that it seems words are not enough but still let me try to summarize:
And so I moved to a new flat and started living on my own again; I successfully endured the distance from here to India and welcomed back my boy; I went through winter with lots of warm feelings; I traveled to 5 countries in less than 8 months; I had the honor to be my best friend's maid of honor  I had my first very important speech and messed it up by crying like a baby; I actually went out of the house on numerous occasions wearing my hair up; I had my first and numerous second encounters with the essence of a spa experience; I had a real French croissant in France and it was .... oooh my God; I bought many more dresses than any year before; I got back in touch with drawing; I spent a lot of time on and with friends; I designed my first collection; I made new friends; I saw many pink/orange sunsets; I saw a koala and a whole panda family from very close and they were extremely cute; I read two books and bought two more; I met a lot of amazing and fun German people in Germany; I worked hard on turning daily work routine into jokes and fun land; I had the honour to stumble upon 7 lucky scorpions in my flat; I drank a real Italian cappuccino in Italy; I had my 7th year anniversary since arriving in Malta; I broke some records at work and got rewarded for it; I officially became an adult; I took care of a little turtle; I cried and laughed way much more than any year before; I started listening to a lot of Jazz; I put my finger print on too many things in Versailles; I had Spanish paella in the heart of Spain -  Madrid; I bought a smartphone; I almost had my new phone stolen while on Armin van Buuren's concert; I realized life has much more to offer than people say; I attended 3 weddings and loved it; I realized with pleasure that I still got the vibe; I realized with disappointment that age does matter when it comes to going to bed late and waking up like a mashed potato; I wore pink glasses and do not want to ever put them down; I tried to help many people in many ways; I started learning German; I gave a lot and I got a lot; I danced traditional Bulgarian dances on New Years Eve in Malta.

Wow, what an year! To an even greater and full of all the fun stuff this life has to offer 2013! Cheers :-)