Sunday, June 5, 2011

Should I stay or should I go

I have been finding myself on the crossroads far too many times recently. Is it me, is it the weather, I really don't know but this point of the way where confusion seems to be just slightly too much that it makes you stop, look around and make a decision, is really not as much fun as one might wish.

This time I feel very much challenged because of a clash of behaviours. Still undecided with regards to this particular surrounding (or to be really precise it should be in plural..), I keep on asking myself: should I stay or should I go. Go where you would say?

This month has been particularly crazy - too much and too many involved and I think my head is spinning from having to figure out what each and everyone is in fact having on his mind. I can't understand why they are constantly trying to mess with me (as in mess up my head). Can't you just be real? Isn't it that simple? Can't it be?

Sippin' out of my decaff coffee at 4:15am, it kind of looks to me that men have become BIGGER and maybe BETTER gossip girls than women ever were and could be! No kidding!
Once the firm and tough shoulder for women to lean on, men seem to have turned to the soft side of a relationship - if there can be one at all these days. They have become more curious, whinier, bitchier, crossing their legs more often, etc. Why are we switching the roles? Is there a problem? Apparently the status quo is not working out any longer but only unofficially, ha.

I decided to let ten days pass in order to check whether any of my thoughts in this regard will have changed or been modified by something or someone before eventually pressing the publish post button. Time does not seem to be in favour though.
They say you don't get what you want but what you need. Well, this is exactly what I want (I guess) - to get what I need.
But am I artificially creating a need on my own for my own and how healthy is that? What do I need to be and what/who do I need? And do I, at all? I do not really need someone in particular as long as I have one/s who care. (once again, is this a wish or a need?)
Hence, are these the people that should be surrounding me? Fun is fun.. but is it worth the bulls*t?

At the end, I believe life gives us more or less what we need and right now I guess I needed to doubt.
I'm thinking... Maybe it is about time to say goodbye and let the surreal faking be without my presence.. maybe.. maybe..

P.s. I wish I'd rap this song: Atmosphere - Trying to Find A Balance