Saturday, August 11, 2012

In my own world now

Wow, I haven't written since May, lots must have happened, and more certainly I must have had zero time for myself. That is seldom a good thing but in this case it was. I was busy LIVING. My best friend got married, I have grown a lot at work (learning-wise) but definitely way more in my relationship. Sometimes I think I am forgetting the world because of this guy. Am I really, could I or it just doesn't matter, the world?

Of course, of course the world matters, we inhabit it, it should be worth..something? Which part of it shall I be focusing on though - the Past, the Present, the Future?

Some of my beautiful memories vivid as if it was yesterday

Oddly enough there has been a strange phenomenon reoccurring in the last couple of weeks: I have been remembering all these tiny but extremely detailed memories from my childhood past that it had left me wondering. My grandma chopping a chicken's head off and me a little girl observing the whole process till tasty chicken soup was on the table. My best friend and I walking side by side wearing the same pair of jeans, just a couple of sizes different, we were 14 years old. Me being 12 at my village during summer break; I tended to have fun on my own by dancing the day away listening to Backstreet Boys on my mom's Italy-imported cassette-phone.
Why am I running all this through my head now? Something is happening, isn't it? Maybe I wanted to be taken back in the day, my subconsciousness needed that to prepare for what is about to come.

1989 - 2007 - 2012

I am changing, I feel it so strong, I am growing up looking for my purpose and a pure and simple joy from life. Like the gentle touch of his hand on my head or cheek. Seriously, all this is enough for me to see the light of a day. This and much more. He made me realize I don't want to be another human junkie stuffing full of chemicals crisps in my mouth while watching simulations of life on TV. NO! I want to be real, I like real but real is simple and we are just not tuned anymore to this wave. Our brains are totally screwed up by all this 'modern life' and 'complex technologies'. How more will it take until we wipe everything off?

All this makes me think of what I want to do to escape the usual human spiral down. What do I wish to do and go for, what can I and intend to do to separate myself from the automated lost-in-simulation human herd and unfold my potential? The real question here is: Do YOU like what you see? Not the iPhone in your hands, the real big picture I am here referring to. Do you really want to live like this, like everyone else? The standard accumulate-as-much-as-possible-material-shit-as-you-possibly-can human path is not convincing me. Opposed to what we are unfortunately conditioned to 'think', money only buys you comfort and not happiness. So that makes me totally unwilling to spend my life wasting effort, time, relationships in order to secure me having a comfortable sofa (for example). I want to be happy, I live to be happy and being happy makes me want to live!

You want to join me on my mission to reverting back to a simple real part of this Earth being? Please do, I hope you will. Let us go back to old-school ways of communicating, having fun, loving. I wish we would do all these artificiality-free, it is in fact my current dream. I want (us) to be free of addictions and satisfied with little. I need (us) to see the beauty of the simplest forms of existence, caress a puppy on the street, hug a tree, smell a flower and drown in the pure sense.
Life is good to me, life is good to us so why don't we appreciate it? I am a happy being, don't you want to be another one with me today? It is easy I promise, together we only need to make a little push.