Saturday, January 23, 2010


I saw this movie the other night (yup, here I go again with my movies but I do like watching movies) that had me thinking of what a person really wants to do and how much it differs from what he/she really does (in almost 90% of the cases.. my own estimation) in life. How many people do actually become what they once dreamt of when they were little kiddoes? I am even re-considering that 10% figure now.. Why do people work and do things that they do not like or hardly ever have actually dreamt of doing?

After all the crap I’ve been through/seen in my life, I learnt that only looking up to your dreams can take you out of the crap and make you move on.

Dreams have to be big. The reason for this is simple – the bigger the dream, the longer the road leading to it, hence, the farther from the crap we have got to go. And exactly this is the point of it – to bring us as far as possible from the ‘dark past’ and bring us ‘pink future’. Or at least any of its nuances. Is it possible though that our dreams are too big? What happens then?

They say that if you want something too much, then eventually you will have it. However, what has also become well-known is that usually people tend to obtain relatively easy the things they want relatively little and that we have to struggle almost infinitely in order to get what we really want. However, these two statements are not mutually exclusive but rather complementary. If you do want something that much, you will sacrifice some time and effort and go about it.

BUT still ..

What happens if I turn down too many of the relatively easy ‘opportunities’ in the hunt for THE ONE I want more than anything?

How long should we keep on looking and passing whatever’s in front of us just because of the belief we are destined for something else? What if we are just delusional.. What if we never really get to the point where we reach the OFFER of our life, the one that we always dreamt of? Am I going to regret throwing imperfect offers out the window? Am I going to be constantly chased by ghosts of past little mistakes?

I guess we all ask those same questions if we haven’t obtained that job that makes us the happiest people in the universe. At 23 (can’t believe I’m even saying this, I’m feeling so nineteen! ) I too got to the point (of no return) where I’m simply thinking and asking and talking to myself and all those processes directed to one particular thing in my mind – the JOB, the thing/activity I want to do. Because, you see, I do not want to work just for the sake of it – which I have to since I am completely income-less , I want to do something I LOVE. Might sound way too poetical but I believe that all the best things are done with love. Take babies for example! Ok, I drop the babies topic immediately, it was just an innocent exampleJ

So, what I’m saying is that we should not give up. Of course food is more important than love, but at the end love is the food for the soul.. and when this dies.. (sigh) We all know the end of this story.

I thought I had actually found the job I was destined for and the one I will probably spend a lifetime in - I was in fact envisioning myself at 40 yrs as a super HEAD of some department.

Building trajectories too early didn’t seem to work out good for me though. Boom-Bam .. and I got a negative call. Gosh, it was painful to see my trajectory fall apart and become just invisible dust. At the end, I guess this just wasn’t my destiny and that’s it. I have to think that or I am risking to completely fall apart; or becoming a secretary mastering the art of preparing espresso on a daily basis.

We have to safeguard our confidence no matter how small and miserable the circumstances make us feel. I will keep on looking up to my dreams and believe my vocation will soon unveil itself in front of my eyes.

And I am so eager to meet.


  1. At the beginning you have to take whatever you can get for a job. Get some experience then you'll have a better chance at finding the one you love. Remember, nothing thats good in life comes easy. Well....except for orgasms. Those are great and easy! haha

  2. HAHAH! Im there's like more than 50% of the population saying the opposite - that they're not easy at all :P But of course this half does not include men, you are simple creatures:P
    With regards to the job: well, i had an offer for a secretary in my city.. but i cant see myself doing that, defo. I need a job where I'll have to think..what can i do..


Share your views with me? Tell me what you think!