Makes me wonder who with a right mind created us so things-oriented instead of mindful, compassionate and vision-oriented!? Oh, wait, I guess we did this ourselves? The fat question standing now right in front of me, you and us is whether we still have what it takes to reverse this and go back to being humans in the first place and consuming machines in the second.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Keep digging.. NOT
I used to like thinking, occasionally. And then I got freed from it. I was happy. What happened?
Something messes my head a little bit and there we go again on that same old rusty merry-go-round. Why did he do that, why did I do that, what does that mean, who hides what - it seems we cannot function without over-thinking and complicating matters. We cannot judge life and people by the deeds only, can we, but always gotta dig deeper and look for.. God knows what really? We keep digging though, and going crazier in the process. Why can't we stop and have enough of it, enough of what we have and not look further any longer? We can't.
Makes me wonder who with a right mind created us so things-oriented instead of mindful, compassionate and vision-oriented!? Oh, wait, I guess we did this ourselves? The fat question standing now right in front of me, you and us is whether we still have what it takes to reverse this and go back to being humans in the first place and consuming machines in the second.
Makes me wonder who with a right mind created us so things-oriented instead of mindful, compassionate and vision-oriented!? Oh, wait, I guess we did this ourselves? The fat question standing now right in front of me, you and us is whether we still have what it takes to reverse this and go back to being humans in the first place and consuming machines in the second.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Road writings
Am I going crazy or ever more sane? I feel the bliss for finally experiencing what life should be about - joy from simply being. Seeing a tree and being happy for it is there in front of me; loving playing with the kitty for it is another joyful careless being; smiling back at fierce critics for it is the way to fight them back with no harm and show a higher state of mind. No, I am not a superhero but I detect and can breakaway the mental prison walls we all build. At least I try, I need your help as it will come from within. Do you want it?
Liberty, freedom, space, sweet emptiness = all words describing the one and only peace of mind. And your heart, what about the heart's peace you would ask? Once you calm your mind it will transfer to your heart filling it up with love and appreciation for the moment. You'd wish to spread wings and hug the world, embrace the beauty of silence and gaze in people's eyes to feel their energy. Feel, it is how we know we are alive!!!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
When you know it is time to..
The time has come when you start feeling your fingers itch and your feet constantly want to move even while asleep. I have to go, I need to, no one told me, I felt it.
Sometimes it is hard to tell whether a shot in the dark will actually hit anything, but I am determined to hit. My target is new peace of mind, new state of mind, new purpose. My life is exciting, never boring, always moving and this is why I have to keep going with my gut - I just change to keep it the same.
I keep remembering every now and then this quote a lecturer told us once: 'The only constant thing in life is change.' If you are afraid of change, then you are afraid of life, and we have to love life even simply for the fact that we have been given it, it is the biggest gift!
The aching to be free of all prejudice and people's plans for me, yes, I will stand up against it and fight for me, for my own direction. Whatever that will be.
I keep remembering every now and then this quote a lecturer told us once: 'The only constant thing in life is change.' If you are afraid of change, then you are afraid of life, and we have to love life even simply for the fact that we have been given it, it is the biggest gift!
The aching to be free of all prejudice and people's plans for me, yes, I will stand up against it and fight for me, for my own direction. Whatever that will be.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
My 2012 accomplishments
Wow, another year gone like in a day.
Do we not feel time passing by due to an abundance of emotions and happenings or simply because we are living life in the fast lane not paying attention?
I know I did take time to give in to the moments.
This has been a marvelous year full of so much to share that it seems words are not enough but still let me try to summarize:
And so I moved to a new flat and started living on my own again; I successfully endured the distance from here to India and welcomed back my boy; I went through winter with lots of warm feelings; I traveled to 5 countries in less than 8 months; I had the honor to be my best friend's maid of honor I had my first very important speech and messed it up by crying like a baby; I actually went out of the house on numerous occasions wearing my hair up; I had my first and numerous second encounters with the essence of a spa experience; I had a real French croissant in France and it was .... oooh my God; I bought many more dresses than any year before; I got back in touch with drawing; I spent a lot of time on and with friends; I designed my first collection; I made new friends; I saw many pink/orange sunsets; I saw a koala and a whole panda family from very close and they were extremely cute; I read two books and bought two more; I met a lot of amazing and fun German people in Germany; I worked hard on turning daily work routine into jokes and fun land; I had the honour to stumble upon 7 lucky scorpions in my flat; I drank a real Italian cappuccino in Italy; I had my 7th year anniversary since arriving in Malta; I broke some records at work and got rewarded for it; I officially became an adult; I took care of a little turtle; I cried and laughed way much more than any year before; I started listening to a lot of Jazz; I put my finger print on too many things in Versailles; I had Spanish paella in the heart of Spain - Madrid; I bought a smartphone; I almost had my new phone stolen while on Armin van Buuren's concert; I realized life has much more to offer than people say; I attended 3 weddings and loved it; I realized with pleasure that I still got the vibe; I realized with disappointment that age does matter when it comes to going to bed late and waking up like a mashed potato; I wore pink glasses and do not want to ever put them down; I tried to help many people in many ways; I started learning German; I gave a lot and I got a lot; I danced traditional Bulgarian dances on New Years Eve in Malta.
Wow, what an year! To an even greater and full of all the fun stuff this life has to offer 2013! Cheers :-)
Do we not feel time passing by due to an abundance of emotions and happenings or simply because we are living life in the fast lane not paying attention?
I know I did take time to give in to the moments.
This has been a marvelous year full of so much to share that it seems words are not enough but still let me try to summarize:
And so I moved to a new flat and started living on my own again; I successfully endured the distance from here to India and welcomed back my boy; I went through winter with lots of warm feelings; I traveled to 5 countries in less than 8 months; I had the honor to be my best friend's maid of honor I had my first very important speech and messed it up by crying like a baby; I actually went out of the house on numerous occasions wearing my hair up; I had my first and numerous second encounters with the essence of a spa experience; I had a real French croissant in France and it was .... oooh my God; I bought many more dresses than any year before; I got back in touch with drawing; I spent a lot of time on and with friends; I designed my first collection; I made new friends; I saw many pink/orange sunsets; I saw a koala and a whole panda family from very close and they were extremely cute; I read two books and bought two more; I met a lot of amazing and fun German people in Germany; I worked hard on turning daily work routine into jokes and fun land; I had the honour to stumble upon 7 lucky scorpions in my flat; I drank a real Italian cappuccino in Italy; I had my 7th year anniversary since arriving in Malta; I broke some records at work and got rewarded for it; I officially became an adult; I took care of a little turtle; I cried and laughed way much more than any year before; I started listening to a lot of Jazz; I put my finger print on too many things in Versailles; I had Spanish paella in the heart of Spain - Madrid; I bought a smartphone; I almost had my new phone stolen while on Armin van Buuren's concert; I realized life has much more to offer than people say; I attended 3 weddings and loved it; I realized with pleasure that I still got the vibe; I realized with disappointment that age does matter when it comes to going to bed late and waking up like a mashed potato; I wore pink glasses and do not want to ever put them down; I tried to help many people in many ways; I started learning German; I gave a lot and I got a lot; I danced traditional Bulgarian dances on New Years Eve in Malta.
Wow, what an year! To an even greater and full of all the fun stuff this life has to offer 2013! Cheers :-)
Friday, December 21, 2012
If I ain't got something, I got it with you
It is 11:11 pm on the 20/12/12. Tomorrow is the so awaited and spoken about 21/12/2012.
I am a Maya, I should know what the Maya people predicted. They did not predict the end of the world, everybody listen up, they made their calendar revolve around an exact cycle which ends tomorrow. What happens next depends on you and me and us. We are in this together.
The world will not end, at least not tomorrow.. But I do hope certain things in this world do end, tomorrow.
I'd like to look at it as a mindset transformation deadline. I hope you have your mind set and you have narrowed your choice down on what person you wish to be should the world NOT END. I wish to see more people take 22/12/12 as a second chance to be a better human and care for more than paper with Phoenician signs on it. I want people to realize right now in this hour what is it that they have done with their lives and whether they would have lived it differently. And then I want to see them live it differently from tomorrow after. I know that I gave my all and did my best whenever I could and realized that I could make a difference.
I lived, I loved, I was here. As long as I am with you, nothing else matters. I have my peace. Peace y'all.
I am a Maya, I should know what the Maya people predicted. They did not predict the end of the world, everybody listen up, they made their calendar revolve around an exact cycle which ends tomorrow. What happens next depends on you and me and us. We are in this together.
The world will not end, at least not tomorrow.. But I do hope certain things in this world do end, tomorrow.
I'd like to look at it as a mindset transformation deadline. I hope you have your mind set and you have narrowed your choice down on what person you wish to be should the world NOT END. I wish to see more people take 22/12/12 as a second chance to be a better human and care for more than paper with Phoenician signs on it. I want people to realize right now in this hour what is it that they have done with their lives and whether they would have lived it differently. And then I want to see them live it differently from tomorrow after. I know that I gave my all and did my best whenever I could and realized that I could make a difference.
I lived, I loved, I was here. As long as I am with you, nothing else matters. I have my peace. Peace y'all.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Six Degrees of Separation
Funny how different brains can be.
What spinns around my head recently is exactly how far male and female brains are?
We are so similar, we are all human beings, we all have faces, feelings, past and present, wishes.
If we are only six degrees of separation - allowing myself to use the geographical measurement metaphorically - how can our train of thought produce such different outcomes and lead to plenty of unwanted, unnecessary and so easy to avoid confusion and frustration?
How much is six degrees in human thought´s terms? Apparently too much. Men and women just don't get each other, full stop. Whether we are coming from two different planet (Mars and Venus) is a rather rhetorical question, we look too much alike to be that different. So what is it then? Why can´t we possibly go down to each others level and grasp what is causing disruption so we can smooth it out?
Expectation and again expectations! They ruin everything, I tell ya. Nothing is ever the way we imagined it to be beforehand, so why do we keep making this annoying mistake and expect things/actions/behaviors from others? We do not rule the world and how it goes around. Here it is!
It really annoys me when things go great between two and then on the sign of the first small issue, everything goest tumbling down with a bang. What is the deal? Are we that stupid, isn´t all the hard work worth a bit of patience and tolerance?
Men think they rule the world; then women from their side think they rule it too. This isn't possible because if we talk about ruling only ONE is the ruler on top of all (if i get the concept correct). But wait, wait, why is it always about ruling? Can't we live in harmony together, guys and girls, without this constant (whether conscious or not) attempt to push each other off the 'throne'? What is the throne? What happens there on top, why do we seek this?
Let us stop this, please. We can do it, yes, we have to really try and it will definitely not be easy but it is worth the pain in the back. I am sure. Now come and let us split the throne.
What spinns around my head recently is exactly how far male and female brains are?
We are so similar, we are all human beings, we all have faces, feelings, past and present, wishes.
How much is six degrees in human thought´s terms? Apparently too much. Men and women just don't get each other, full stop. Whether we are coming from two different planet (Mars and Venus) is a rather rhetorical question, we look too much alike to be that different. So what is it then? Why can´t we possibly go down to each others level and grasp what is causing disruption so we can smooth it out?
Expectation and again expectations! They ruin everything, I tell ya. Nothing is ever the way we imagined it to be beforehand, so why do we keep making this annoying mistake and expect things/actions/behaviors from others? We do not rule the world and how it goes around. Here it is!
It really annoys me when things go great between two and then on the sign of the first small issue, everything goest tumbling down with a bang. What is the deal? Are we that stupid, isn´t all the hard work worth a bit of patience and tolerance?
Men think they rule the world; then women from their side think they rule it too. This isn't possible because if we talk about ruling only ONE is the ruler on top of all (if i get the concept correct). But wait, wait, why is it always about ruling? Can't we live in harmony together, guys and girls, without this constant (whether conscious or not) attempt to push each other off the 'throne'? What is the throne? What happens there on top, why do we seek this?
Let us stop this, please. We can do it, yes, we have to really try and it will definitely not be easy but it is worth the pain in the back. I am sure. Now come and let us split the throne.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
In my own world now
Wow, I haven't written since May, lots must have happened, and more certainly I must have had zero time for myself. That is seldom a good thing but in this case it was. I was busy LIVING. My best friend got married, I have grown a lot at work (learning-wise) but definitely way more in my relationship. Sometimes I think I am forgetting the world because of this guy. Am I really, could I or it just doesn't matter, the world?
Of course, of course the world matters, we inhabit it, it should be worth..something? Which part of it shall I be focusing on though - the Past, the Present, the Future?
Oddly enough there has been a strange phenomenon reoccurring in the last couple of weeks: I have been remembering all these tiny but extremely detailed memories from my childhood past that it had left me wondering. My grandma chopping a chicken's head off and me a little girl observing the whole process till tasty chicken soup was on the table. My best friend and I walking side by side wearing the same pair of jeans, just a couple of sizes different, we were 14 years old. Me being 12 at my village during summer break; I tended to have fun on my own by dancing the day away listening to Backstreet Boys on my mom's Italy-imported cassette-phone.
Why am I running all this through my head now? Something is happening, isn't it? Maybe I wanted to be taken back in the day, my subconsciousness needed that to prepare for what is about to come.
I am changing, I feel it so strong, I am growing up looking for my purpose and a pure and simple joy from life. Like the gentle touch of his hand on my head or cheek. Seriously, all this is enough for me to see the light of a day. This and much more. He made me realize I don't want to be another human junkie stuffing full of chemicals crisps in my mouth while watching simulations of life on TV. NO! I want to be real, I like real but real is simple and we are just not tuned anymore to this wave. Our brains are totally screwed up by all this 'modern life' and 'complex technologies'. How more will it take until we wipe everything off?
All this makes me think of what I want to do to escape the usual human spiral down. What do I wish to do and go for, what can I and intend to do to separate myself from the automated lost-in-simulation human herd and unfold my potential? The real question here is: Do YOU like what you see? Not the iPhone in your hands, the real big picture I am here referring to. Do you really want to live like this, like everyone else? The standard accumulate-as-much-as-possible-material-shit-as-you-possibly-can human path is not convincing me. Opposed to what we are unfortunately conditioned to 'think', money only buys you comfort and not happiness. So that makes me totally unwilling to spend my life wasting effort, time, relationships in order to secure me having a comfortable sofa (for example). I want to be happy, I live to be happy and being happy makes me want to live!
You want to join me on my mission to reverting back to a simple real part of this Earth being? Please do, I hope you will. Let us go back to old-school ways of communicating, having fun, loving. I wish we would do all these artificiality-free, it is in fact my current dream. I want (us) to be free of addictions and satisfied with little. I need (us) to see the beauty of the simplest forms of existence, caress a puppy on the street, hug a tree, smell a flower and drown in the pure sense.
Life is good to me, life is good to us so why don't we appreciate it? I am a happy being, don't you want to be another one with me today? It is easy I promise, together we only need to make a little push.
Of course, of course the world matters, we inhabit it, it should be worth..something? Which part of it shall I be focusing on though - the Past, the Present, the Future?
 |
| Some of my beautiful memories vivid as if it was yesterday |
Oddly enough there has been a strange phenomenon reoccurring in the last couple of weeks: I have been remembering all these tiny but extremely detailed memories from my childhood past that it had left me wondering. My grandma chopping a chicken's head off and me a little girl observing the whole process till tasty chicken soup was on the table. My best friend and I walking side by side wearing the same pair of jeans, just a couple of sizes different, we were 14 years old. Me being 12 at my village during summer break; I tended to have fun on my own by dancing the day away listening to Backstreet Boys on my mom's Italy-imported cassette-phone.
Why am I running all this through my head now? Something is happening, isn't it? Maybe I wanted to be taken back in the day, my subconsciousness needed that to prepare for what is about to come.
 |
| 1989 - 2007 - 2012 |
I am changing, I feel it so strong, I am growing up looking for my purpose and a pure and simple joy from life. Like the gentle touch of his hand on my head or cheek. Seriously, all this is enough for me to see the light of a day. This and much more. He made me realize I don't want to be another human junkie stuffing full of chemicals crisps in my mouth while watching simulations of life on TV. NO! I want to be real, I like real but real is simple and we are just not tuned anymore to this wave. Our brains are totally screwed up by all this 'modern life' and 'complex technologies'. How more will it take until we wipe everything off?
All this makes me think of what I want to do to escape the usual human spiral down. What do I wish to do and go for, what can I and intend to do to separate myself from the automated lost-in-simulation human herd and unfold my potential? The real question here is: Do YOU like what you see? Not the iPhone in your hands, the real big picture I am here referring to. Do you really want to live like this, like everyone else? The standard accumulate-as-much-as-possible-material-shit-as-you-possibly-can human path is not convincing me. Opposed to what we are unfortunately conditioned to 'think', money only buys you comfort and not happiness. So that makes me totally unwilling to spend my life wasting effort, time, relationships in order to secure me having a comfortable sofa (for example). I want to be happy, I live to be happy and being happy makes me want to live!
You want to join me on my mission to reverting back to a simple real part of this Earth being? Please do, I hope you will. Let us go back to old-school ways of communicating, having fun, loving. I wish we would do all these artificiality-free, it is in fact my current dream. I want (us) to be free of addictions and satisfied with little. I need (us) to see the beauty of the simplest forms of existence, caress a puppy on the street, hug a tree, smell a flower and drown in the pure sense.
Life is good to me, life is good to us so why don't we appreciate it? I am a happy being, don't you want to be another one with me today? It is easy I promise, together we only need to make a little push.
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