Wednesday, March 3, 2010

When a journey is over

I can't help having mixed feelings now that the Green Light For Business Conference is all behind. 

Every journey is full of emotions, situations and various experiences - there will always be a couple of negative ones but most of them will be positive in one way or another. Why did i end up with this mix of satisfaction, happiness, frustration and apathy if the event was a success from a business and personal point of view? 

The day following the end of the Conference my skype's profile message has been set to 'back to life' but.. I would rather say that what has just finished was kind of LIFE. It felt like blood transfusion right when i so severely needed it! I am satisfied with myself and the work i managed to do/took part in; I am also more than satisfied for the fact that i got to know what my strengths are with respect to other teammates' skills; I am extremely satisfied knowing that i possess something more than others. Last but not least, I'm also satisfied because I discovered (things about) myself in a setting that has not occurred to me ever before.

Uhm, what was next on the list? Ah ye. 
I am happy, oh, so so happy it all happened to me - that i met all those people, spent time, shared knowledge (this is really too formally put) and had some fun along the way.

I am not having illusions though. 
I am not deluding myself with sorts of thoughts like 'now i have made friends'. At the same time, I would always secretly hope that this might actually be true. That is why I am frustrated - somehow I feel that we will not go to bars and discos together ot gather in someone's rented studio to just bullshit and laugh. I just don't see it coming. 
Obviously, one cannot force people to be his/her friends (okay, unless you are extremely rich or some mafia guy) so what do we do when nothing happens?
We move on and look AHEAD. What's good was good and noone can erase it (oh, except the Haitian from HEROES :P). 

No whining and crying, no, no. Life is about meeting people and having an impact. Even if this means you get to spend time with someone for 2 days only. You cannot or more like SHOULD NOT say NO to your opportunities to meet and impact just because it seems short and pointless or even worse - painful. You never know when and how this meeting, this tiny little moment of socializing and impacting will actually have its big impact on you. And it almost always does;]

What about apathy? Well, I'm just a human at the end and can't help being overhelmed by feelings, emotions and confusion sometimes, you know. All i need is some time to clear my head and think straight. When i do that, I will eventually realize all the good stuff - everything i've gained (which includes my first ever business card, yey!), all i've learnt AND  all pure goodness I've done for the sake of it without no material gain:) (there should always be such a component or otherwise stories will never have a good ending or at least they will not serve purpose as bedtime stories for our grandchildren).....

So here I am.. terminating the Green Light For Business Conference 2010. I won't fuss and I won't fight for what's been lost or for what has not happened. 
The END should be a good one, a good one. So walk away ... with your smile on .. this is how you will be remembered. 

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