My Valentine

It was Valentine's Day yesterday! I hope you had a wonderful one. Whether you spent it with your better half, a friend, family or simply spoiling yourself, all that matters is that you felt and spread love.

Here is what hubby and I did: we took a trip... To somewhere! Unknown! Without knowing what our final destination is, we hit the road and drove in a certain direction, leaving it completely to our intuition to guide us. And it was the perfect occasion to leave the so very common need to control out of the picture. We wanted spontaneity, we wished for non-conventional and different. And for something very us - so we went for a walk through the woods, did yoga on a sunny meadow, cuddled by a river and gazed at a small picturesque waterfall. Then simply by chance (or not?!), we ended up in front of a monument from 4th century. It was like we found our own treasure and we couldn't take our eyes off it. After we finally did, we kept on driving until we found ourselves at a point where we had to choose a town to stay the night. We didn't really have to ponder much as the right choice was laid out before us, literally, in the form of a road sign saying 'Koprivshtitsa'. Koprivshtitsa is the name of a historical town which was the epicenter of the revolutionary movements aimed at Bulgaria's freedom almost 2 centuries ago. Such an energized place; it can make every Bulgarian feel proud of our origins.

What else did we do there besides the tourist must-dos? Weeeeellll, we finally gave acro yoga a try! Something we've been prepping for a while now. How it was? As one can imagine - super-boosting and it gave us wings! We will surely be practising more of this exciting branch of yoga on a side, wish us luck :)
Warning: Do not try this at home unless you have a consistent and regular practice and have built a strong core.

So, would you also like try acro yoga?

Are manners lost forever?

I remember when opening doors for ladies, offering a hand, offering help, greeting and excusing were very normal and kind of a status quo. Manners used to be essential. We used to have gentlemen and we used to have ladies. Manner were the much needed medium for a smooth human interaction. They were probably the thing (okay, maybe one of the things) separating us from animals. Don't you agree?

What does it mean to have manners these days? I bet some people cannot even remember. Are manners lost forever? Who killed them? Which generation pushed them down the drain? Maybe it was me? Nah. Maybe it's the iPhone generation so lost in their social media world and glued to their mobile devices.

I often feel like a black eyed person walking down the street on a sunny day. I'm odd and nice and talkative; since when did this become abnormal? I somehow missed that part. Am I going to get punished for not catching up with the current 'vibe' of impersonation, distance, ambiguity and universal ignorance? I would like to stay with my manners, please. Please. Will I remain running in circles forever isolated?

The matter of the fact is I might. We have lost manners in our relationships too and this makes it ever more impossible for two persons to have a calm, purposeful and useful discussion. Bigger issue arises here. Is it even possible for two people nowadays to actually decide on a path together, one they would walk absolutely side by side, along which they would both be happy and fulfilled? Sounds absurd.
The story goes like this: You make certain choices and decisions and sacrifice little things but sometimes many of them in order to remain with the greater thing. Then it seizes to be so great or you witness the other side completely disregarding your sacrifices, while he/she gets to do whatever the souls seeks (and don't get me wrong here - I fully support soul seeking!). And then? You are left with ... nothing. Not even good manners anymore! Or the other scenario: your other supposedly half compromises in order to remain on your path until the moment he doesn't! Why? Because they did not feel this path theirs any longer since they left behind most of their aspirations.

If only we would all get a huge mirror and are presented with the exact reflection of what we gave.
So... is everything lost?

September Yoga Challenge

Hallo friends!!

I can't believe it is already the 1st of September (as often as people exclaim this)! Seriously, it is like yesterday was February and we dreamed for summer to arrive, now we count down the days till its end.
It has been quite the mixture of a hectic and relaxed summer that I've been having. Surely many were envious of all the days I spent just walking somewhere, touring around, chilling, and oh - partying of course. I did study quite a bit which seems to have tired me. This is why I have decided to create for myself a September Yoga Challenge starting today. It actually started 2 hours ago when I started my first yoga practice for this month during which I intent to practice yoga every single day. This first practice took about 50 minutes and I mainly focused on twists and stretching and breathing (as am also tiny bit sickish so I need to restore my energies). Doing yoga every single day for such an extended period as my goal has not happened to me yet and it will soon be 2 years since I first discovered yoga. Hopefully this month will not only deepen my practice and help me achieve things I did not till now, go deeper into the poses, but also help me spread the word even further and gain more popularity. I wish to encourage more sceptics to come and try this 'yoga thing' at least once. This is why I created my own page Moga Yoga with Maya - to let people follow my practice, my struggles and the way I change my life bit by bit, how it affects me, hoping that this will intrigue some and push them to do that step forward and dive into this journey. Because it feels just so great! Challenge yourselves with me? Follow me and let's explore what happens :)))

Openness, Pure Love & Friendships

I figured out something else this evening. And this is how it happened.

It's been hard for me to study these couple of days. I tend to have my focus somewhere else - the inner me, feelings about the world, yoga. Therefore, it was quote painless to convince myself to take my mom to the international movie festival happening in town. And so we went. And remained there for 4 hours; and yes, it was that good. First, we saw an Estonian movie about a so called 'crazy' girl (she doesn't speak to people) who falls in love with the town's drunk and playboy but when one night she disappears with him, everyone turns against him viewing her as the victim of his lustful abuse. Then, we saw a movie from Denmark telling the story of an innocent man accused of molesting a child which happens to be his best friend's daughter whom he takes care of in the kindergarten. Both movies were very powerful and moving, and yes, I shed some tears.

What moved me so much were the simple things things the stories revolved around  - pure love and best friendships built over many years. These two are probably the strongest forces there are out there, we just need to use them as prescribed.
I didn't want to come home but we did so then I remained on the balcony for a good 25 minutes staring at the gloom, cars, rain, the little lights. I eyed quickly the balconies of the blocks nearby to see if there was anyone else out there, sunk in thoughts inspired by the world outside. Shockingly, or not, there were 3 more souls out there, smoking cigarettes, one standing and the other 2 seated with their head resting on their fist. I caught myself wondering whether this is the breed of thinkers left in here - a few smokers and a lost-in-the-movies girl who quite often feels out of space. Where are all the others and what are they doing? Probably mundane daily things - like watching the news, having a beer, washing the dishes. Nothing should be accepted as mundane though as then it impacts our perception and one day we end up perceiving the people we see/are in touch with daily as mundane and tedious. How to counter this? I got it: by being OPEN!

Not sure whether it was the movies or the rain (it tends to have that effect on me) or the lack of sleep lately but I felt a wave of gratitude over me for the pure love and best friendships that I have had and have and will have. I am open about it and wish to remain so. So I told them right away. Please don't keep it in, share, share, and let them others do their skeptical grimaces. From all I know this world is in a desperate need of pure love and best friendships. And the way I see it, it should never be enough or too much to tell the people who make your existence worthwhile how you feel. Do it now. Do it every day.

Peace. & Love

It's Springtime, awareness time

It seems that every spring brings something new with itself. At least from my perspective. But this is how it is going to be, right? Another spring, another life. To me this spring has brought in realization.

Most of you know I have been practicing yoga for some time now. I’d like to tell you about an experience I had two weeks ago (this is not to undermine yoga’s ability to deliver ‘an experience’ every single time). I was ‘locked in’ – a phrase I like to use to imply I have been studying all day; hence I needed a release break. I put my mat on the floor and started. I am not completely sure what it was, but at one point I started seeing things – like castles in the skies, fields of flowers and gold, sunshine, all glittering in front of my eyes (even though what really was there was the sink). What does this mean? Have I gotten used to being with my SELF? Have I discovered where bliss hides?

I’ve been reading a lot lately. All kinds of written words, sentences, proverbs, pieces of wisdom. I especially liked what one girl wrote on her social media profile: that we are all light, part of the big light, so there is nothing to fear or worry about. We are here to be light, so we shall shine with all we have – smile, be happy and spread joy. And light. I have also been observing a lot – there is plenty to observe and we don’t have to especially go on the hunt and look for it, it is all around us. Just pull your blinders up and you will see pictures being painted before you. Can you imagine yourself standing in a green field talking to a donkey and a horse? No? Then you must try it! I did that a week ago and it was another one of those blissful experiences - the connection with nature and its creatures felt natural and essential even. I felt good and much lighter after conversing with the donkey and caressing the horse on its head (yes, it allowed me!). I can only imagine they felt the same J  

Back to urban land, I have noticed something which is considered as kind of normal but is also kind of petrifying. People have got used to getting used. I guess I need to elaborate a little.

You could put any verb after this sentence and it will probably remain true. I will give you an example:   People have got/are used to… EXPECTING.  People have got/are used to… LOVING. People have got/are used to… TALKING. You see what I mean? Do you notice how even the ‘positive’ note of ‘LOVING’ is lost because people are now used to it, therefore there is no more flame in it. Talking, on the other hand, was once a useful tool for communication, which has leveled down to simply an act of passing the time. We no longer speak about the important stuff because if we do, we might be excluded from society and titled ‘ODD’. So we remain in society and we follow the rules of expecting. I know, I was there once not too long ago as well. We walk through life expecting the next Christmas, another season, our next birthday. It becomes even more problematic – we have become unable to just go with it without the frantic need to plan the next thing, step, meal, and meeting. You can hardly find a person just strolling alone with pleasure, not going anywhere, not hurrying for anything in particular. Why did we turn our life into some frantic hunt for the unknown variable? I don't know. What I know and can say with the certainty of someone who's had the experience herself is that such a life could be turned around - in less than a year, even in less than 3 months, should you REALLY WANT IT TO.

I believe in taking your life in your hands and building it the way you want it to be. I always did and had always tried to even though I was not always ready to. Remember – without a shift in thinking, there could be no shift in attitude. So read, learn, open your eyes to the other sides of the stories, and make that shift now. Because every day - in your newly found happy place, matters. Take a moment to live, and live NOW! This has been a marvelous realization for me, I wish it will be for you too. 

New Year’s Re-Solutions

And yet again, it is that time of the year when we make various promises, either false or not, to start doing something, stop doing another thing, keep doing something else. In order to do that successfully, we need to uncover adverse tendencies in our past behavior and willingly and relentlessly go about rooting such out.

I will here share some of the findings I made regarding my self before compiling my NY's resolutions list:

To begin with, I will start with the most shocking and groundbreaking discovery I am quite glad to have made at a still 'fragile' age: We cannot, and therefore, should not rely on others for our own happiness. Yes, I know it is hard and probably seems impossible to many of you right now, however I ensure you this is the only road to real, indestructible happiness. I am guilty of relying way too many times on another person's predisposition/mood/feelings in order to have me feeling good and satisfied. I can justify such past behavior by saying that something in me did it because I cared for that person, more than I wanted and I was so weak that he could influence me. Well, I could say that. From the place I am currently at, it seems as if I were the one to blame, not the other person. I was selfish enough to place the burden of my own well-being in another person's hands. I know I would never disappoint myself if I have to trust me and only me to be happy. Lesson learned. No one is responsible for your happiness but YOU.

You know what else? Planning for the future sucks big time. So hereby I make a resolution to not plan anything farther than 3 months ahead. Let's be real, everyone does it; we are programmed by some unknown 'higher' hidden force or power to do so. Do you ever question why you keep planning for things to do in the future and keep postponing stuff for 'later on' in life, or - my favorite of all - for 'when the right time comes'? How can people be so convinced they will actually HAVE all that time at their hands? It truly starts to piss me off seeing young people act as if their life is over because it is not up to their perfect taste or liking. Get up and do something about it, will ya? Personally, I am thirsty for life and do not and cannot wait until whenever later on. Yes, great things might happen, but why not go for some already now? All it takes is a step forward and the ability to shun from others' opinions as they are most certainly the force dragging you back.

I do not want to fear, do you? With no fear I can live my days openly, fully, satisfyingly and with no regret. I want to experience, see, travel, swim in the thick waters of the unknown, which will test my reflexes and remind me in every single moment that I am alive. And I will be grateful for it. We forget way too often this is a blessing, to be here, right now. Some religious people might correct me here that it is actually the other way round - here and now is where we are punished and tested. Hm, seriously, take a look around, don't we have this beautiful world to discover?

And, finally, here are my resolutions for this new and lovely 2014 year:
I will continue to BE ME
I will go on with my YOGA practice and REACH new heights
I will try to bring down to minimum my tendency to act like a DRAMA QUEEN
I will gain more KNOWLEDGE every day
I will see it all in PINK
I will keep spreading ENERGY inexhaustibly
I will learn to LET GO
I will study and LEARN German
I will manage to MEDITATE without having a billion thoughts in my mind
I will be OPEN to new opportunities and possibilities
I will learn how to MISS WITHOUT being SAD
I will continue to FIGHT OFF the widespread frustration, aimlessness and feeling of worthlessness some individuals try to get under my skin
I will RELAX and teach others to as well
I will find more things to APPRECIATE within me
I will continue SMILING, every chance I get
I will LOVE

In brief, I intend to

Source: susiss.livejournal.com

How about you?

To Bee Back Home

So here I am everyone, back to homeland for the past 6 months. It is unbelievable how time flies when it is nice.

Home is a very abstract term for me as I tend to consider myself a cosmopolitan and like to make home wherever I am, but I have to admit to something my dad used to tell me every time I was about to take off to somewhere - only home can give you the peace and re-charge you wish to have. Yes, I can now also stand behind this statement. Home is not a technologically-advanced urban metropolis with flying high speed trains and hurrying up businessmen dressed in black. And this is exactly why I love being here right now. It is true that life looks much more relaxed and slow for me in particular as I am actually unemployed and simply taking time for my family and myself. But hey, people get to see their parents and high school friends much more often than I do. I had to actually take time off the world I built in for myself to do that. One thing I am happy I learnt to is trust my gut regardless of how crazy it might seem.

Enough of the serious thought-producing stuff. Let's see what is the fun and cool part about being home :)

The cat 

We have a cat! Yes, yes, a real living animal toy, oops, I did not mean to say toy :-D This creature is so much fun and surprisingly clever, extremely curious and super fun. You can forget about ever eating anything peacefully. This little thing has a natural sense for someone preparing to munch any kind of food, it knows, jumps, rolls and appears out of nowhere exactly in front of your mouth. She wanted to steal my kiwi just now.

The old funny little things
Entering my old room at home after long periods of time always feels like some sort of treasure hunt and time for great discoveries. Because of the past! I am one of those people who like to keep even candy wrappers if they remind them of something. I'm really terrible in this. All of my Eminem, Leo Di Caprio, Backstreet Boys and so on posters are still here, in my room! 

Getting the child-treatment
At 26 one would think that we no longer fall under the children category. Well, I was wrong. According to my mom I am still that kid, the one she has to ask where she's going, why she's wearing what she is wearing and what time she is coming back. Oh boy, was that difficult to get used to?! I admit it, it tended to annoy me at the beginning but then I realized that whatever we do we will never stop being the 'children' in our parents' eyes. I sat down and explained to mommy how I can handle my self as I have learnt to do so in the past 7 years so there is no need for the constant investigation and worrying. Imma grown up now, at least most of the time.

Everything is new

I sure look funny turning head to every direction exploring what is new and what is still there where I remember it to be; asking people about a club, whose name changed 10 times since then; going to a shop I used to know just to find a pub there.. yeah, stuff like that! Consider the pros though: I am always curios, I want to try and experience the simplest (and probably dullest for the others) things and I tend to be thankful and happy for my every encounter be it with a bird or a dog on the street. Why all this bizarre behavior you would ask? Very simple, my friends - I have forgotten it all so it is all like new to me, and I love it! All of it. Even the rain (which is not such a frequent happening, phew). 

:-)