Are manners lost forever?

I remember when opening doors for ladies, offering a hand, offering help, greeting and excusing were very normal and kind of a status quo. Manners used to be essential. We used to have gentlemen and we used to have ladies. Manner were the much needed medium for a smooth human interaction. They were probably the thing (okay, maybe one of the things) separating us from animals. Don't you agree?

What does it mean to have manners these days? I bet some people cannot even remember. Are manners lost forever? Who killed them? Which generation pushed them down the drain? Maybe it was me? Nah. Maybe it's the iPhone generation so lost in their social media world and glued to their mobile devices.

I often feel like a black eyed person walking down the street on a sunny day. I'm odd and nice and talkative; since when did this become abnormal? I somehow missed that part. Am I going to get punished for not catching up with the current 'vibe' of impersonation, distance, ambiguity and universal ignorance? I would like to stay with my manners, please. Please. Will I remain running in circles forever isolated?

The matter of the fact is I might. We have lost manners in our relationships too and this makes it ever more impossible for two persons to have a calm, purposeful and useful discussion. Bigger issue arises here. Is it even possible for two people nowadays to actually decide on a path together, one they would walk absolutely side by side, along which they would both be happy and fulfilled? Sounds absurd.
The story goes like this: You make certain choices and decisions and sacrifice little things but sometimes many of them in order to remain with the greater thing. Then it seizes to be so great or you witness the other side completely disregarding your sacrifices, while he/she gets to do whatever the souls seeks (and don't get me wrong here - I fully support soul seeking!). And then? You are left with ... nothing. Not even good manners anymore! Or the other scenario: your other supposedly half compromises in order to remain on your path until the moment he doesn't! Why? Because they did not feel this path theirs any longer since they left behind most of their aspirations.

If only we would all get a huge mirror and are presented with the exact reflection of what we gave.
So... is everything lost?

It's Springtime, awareness time

It seems that every spring brings something new with itself. At least from my perspective. But this is how it is going to be, right? Another spring, another life. To me this spring has brought in realization.

Most of you know I have been practicing yoga for some time now. I’d like to tell you about an experience I had two weeks ago (this is not to undermine yoga’s ability to deliver ‘an experience’ every single time). I was ‘locked in’ – a phrase I like to use to imply I have been studying all day; hence I needed a release break. I put my mat on the floor and started. I am not completely sure what it was, but at one point I started seeing things – like castles in the skies, fields of flowers and gold, sunshine, all glittering in front of my eyes (even though what really was there was the sink). What does this mean? Have I gotten used to being with my SELF? Have I discovered where bliss hides?

I’ve been reading a lot lately. All kinds of written words, sentences, proverbs, pieces of wisdom. I especially liked what one girl wrote on her social media profile: that we are all light, part of the big light, so there is nothing to fear or worry about. We are here to be light, so we shall shine with all we have – smile, be happy and spread joy. And light. I have also been observing a lot – there is plenty to observe and we don’t have to especially go on the hunt and look for it, it is all around us. Just pull your blinders up and you will see pictures being painted before you. Can you imagine yourself standing in a green field talking to a donkey and a horse? No? Then you must try it! I did that a week ago and it was another one of those blissful experiences - the connection with nature and its creatures felt natural and essential even. I felt good and much lighter after conversing with the donkey and caressing the horse on its head (yes, it allowed me!). I can only imagine they felt the same J  

Back to urban land, I have noticed something which is considered as kind of normal but is also kind of petrifying. People have got used to getting used. I guess I need to elaborate a little.

You could put any verb after this sentence and it will probably remain true. I will give you an example:   People have got/are used to… EXPECTING.  People have got/are used to… LOVING. People have got/are used to… TALKING. You see what I mean? Do you notice how even the ‘positive’ note of ‘LOVING’ is lost because people are now used to it, therefore there is no more flame in it. Talking, on the other hand, was once a useful tool for communication, which has leveled down to simply an act of passing the time. We no longer speak about the important stuff because if we do, we might be excluded from society and titled ‘ODD’. So we remain in society and we follow the rules of expecting. I know, I was there once not too long ago as well. We walk through life expecting the next Christmas, another season, our next birthday. It becomes even more problematic – we have become unable to just go with it without the frantic need to plan the next thing, step, meal, and meeting. You can hardly find a person just strolling alone with pleasure, not going anywhere, not hurrying for anything in particular. Why did we turn our life into some frantic hunt for the unknown variable? I don't know. What I know and can say with the certainty of someone who's had the experience herself is that such a life could be turned around - in less than a year, even in less than 3 months, should you REALLY WANT IT TO.

I believe in taking your life in your hands and building it the way you want it to be. I always did and had always tried to even though I was not always ready to. Remember – without a shift in thinking, there could be no shift in attitude. So read, learn, open your eyes to the other sides of the stories, and make that shift now. Because every day - in your newly found happy place, matters. Take a moment to live, and live NOW! This has been a marvelous realization for me, I wish it will be for you too. 

Mars 1

So apparently they are sending people over to Mars. Yep, the planet. The first human colony is scheduled to leave the Earth at end of 2023. This implies we have got 10 years before we find out whether we can possibly 'infect' with our presence yet another planet. They call it the plan for saving our species. I ask: 'why save us?'

Credit to: www.telegraph.co.uk 

Take a look around. I don't know where you at exactly right now, but from where I see it people generally do not care about the Earth or their life for that matter. They think and fool themselves deeply that they do, but they don't. Almost nobody cares about recycling, re-using and re-inventing. It is all about the show off, the posing and pretending. Everyone tries to win God knows what by adding fancy shoes, jewelry and fast cars to their inventory. They all try to teach you how to live and make you believe that the important things in 'this' life are the ones they say are.

Credit: globusnews.net

I will tell you a tale of a time not too long ago but seemingly way too long ago. People used to appreciate completely different values than we do in today's world. It all struck me while driving by a small village in the Northern mountain part of Bulgaria. When a certain household was considered very good, well-behaved and particularly friendly, they obtained and were given by the municipality a special plate to hang on their front door. What was written on it was 'Role Model Household' or as written in Cyrillic 'Образцов Дом'. It was an utmost appreciation one could publicly get. It shows that people cared about what other people think of them. For better or worse, we do not seem to bother any longer.
I personally - as surprising as this might be for some - don't believe in shoes and cars; I believe in people. I want to live, be with and love people. Not a Louis Vuitton bag, not a Bentley, but human beings. I am still unsure what it is exactly but sometimes I really like this kind.

I caught a very special documentary on TV last night about Titanic. A century after the tragic accident, a man has managed to prove it was not a human mistake. The captain was not drunk and the watchers were not asleep. Titanic just seems to have had a predetermined bad luck - it found itself in this particular spot of the North Atlantic where: mirages occur (hence the watchers saw a mist instead of the iceberg until it was way too late); the Gulf stream gives a way to the cold Labrador current (just a kilometer before that spot the temperature was 14 degrees higher); there were optical illusions present - the starts seemed so bright that one could not distinguish whether a light sign from Titanic was another star or not. Sounds crazy? To me it sounds too arranged; those people were simply left with no way out by mother Nature.

What I am trying to say here is that evidently Nature can and will sabotage anything it deems improper. Will humans make it to Mars? I don't think this is up to us. Let's stop being so cocky, arrogant and pretentious, let's go back to being role model households and individuals, can we? One thing is for sure - let us face it, we can't fool Nature. We DO NOT own the world. It owns US!

Keep digging.. NOT

I used to like thinking, occasionally. And then I got freed from it. I was happy. What happened?

Something messes my head a little bit and there we go again on that same old rusty merry-go-round. Why did he do that, why did I do that, what does that mean, who hides what - it seems we cannot function without over-thinking and complicating matters. We cannot judge life and people by the deeds only, can we, but always gotta dig deeper and look for.. God knows what really? We keep digging though, and going crazier in the process. Why can't we stop and have enough of it, enough of what we have and not look further any longer? We can't.

Makes me wonder who with a right mind created us so things-oriented instead of mindful, compassionate and vision-oriented!? Oh, wait, I guess we did this ourselves? The fat question standing now right in front of me, you and us is whether we still have what it takes to reverse this and go back to being humans in the first place and consuming machines in the second.

The importance of Closure

I had the strangest dream a couple of nights ago, a dream which made me wake up in the middle of the night shaking, sweating and more than shocked. Why had I dreamt of him?
First thing I felt when I woke up - after the initial shock - was guilt and confusion. Yes, I had dreamt of an ex-boyfriend. That dream made me feel unfaithful even if it was nothing like that (yep, nothing hot, I promise!). How come it was so powerful even if so subtle?
Even more strange - the night after I dreamt of another eX.. but that was different. I woke up very well, light  and somehow with a smile on. What was happening? Was my subconsciousness trying to point out something?
It should be screaming something loud but oddly coded if it made me dream once more of that same person who woke me in panic just a couple of nights before that.

I definitely do not miss those guys and most certainly have no feelings whatsoever towards them. Is the fact that one relationship ended up without having any 'let's sit and talk this over'- phase had something to do?
When I thought about it more carefully, it suddenly struck me that my last four (at least) relationships have ended with no closure, one way or another it seems that I chose so. Was I doing it because I simply thought it is better? Almost certainly yes. Was it really the best solution? Almost certainly not. What did i do wrong then? Nothing much BESIDES avoiding closure.

It is regardless really of the side of the equation you end up being at - the one left or 'the left-ee' (not quite sure whether my word-construction exercise is working out so just to clear it out the second side is the one WHO left.) At the particular point in time we somehow tend to think (i.e. our mind plays wicked games with us and tricks us into thinking that) we are better off switching our cell phones off/ hiding/ ripping up photos, any left belongings, etc. (extreme cases but they say it works). Put more formally, in general it mainly consists of persistent avoidance of that person and anything linked to them in any way on Earth possible.
There are plenty of reasons one can list justifying such behavior and we all know it - we have to be strong, move on, pretend as if nothing happened, forget about it, etc. etc. That is not what I am interested in. I wish to find out why this is not the best (long-term-wise) solution.

As they say one has to face their Demons to get rid of them. In no way here I am depicting your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend as a Demon.
Those are the fears, always bugging questions and why-s related to that person. And those will not just disappear, believe me. We might think they have vanished but in reality they can only be buried inside of us until settled.
Sooner or later they have to be, don't they? I guess what I'm trying to say here is that we better gulp down and settle what needs to be settled and solve what needs to be solved till the end right there at the spot. You wouldn't like to wake up in a hysteric panic a year after and wonder why this nightmares keep chasing you. I know.

As impossible as it always seems, I say we get real; stop hiding, face all that stuff we have going on in our heads that we have to face, get closure, we have to! You owe it to yourself, to set the account straight and get to peace at least in your head.

Wait, wait, as a matter of fact I think I finally got it - our brain is like a hard drive, stuffed with so many memories besides everything else. So we need to make some space from time to time, right? We don't need to erase really but archive, put all burdening and heavy memories in a box in a corner of our mind so we can free some needed space for the great new. I am quite convinced this is the point of 'you have no free space left' that I find myself in right now and my brain is alarming me. Girl, you better clear all the clutter and get ready to fill that space with some shiny new amazing moments!

We have to...
Easy said, right?

Life behind a mask = pittyful

I really hate those people living behind a mask! I know you know what I'm talking about: all those people fakely smiling at you every day but so clearly something else is going on in their head. God, I hate that. Why can't you just people be for real? Either be straight and get your issues resolved or move on! People who don't like each other shouldn't be FRIENDS - this sounds sick already - or meet or try to talk about things or hang out.. because it does not work, okay?! Yeah, I know there are those circumstances where you have to bow down and be 'nice' to someone just for the sake of safeguarding peace in a gang, etc. Hence, you are doing it for someone you care about. Allright, you deserve a medal but noone will actually give you one. Make it easy for yourself and try to really solve issues between you and this complexed chap.. or just forget about it! It won't be.
People, just be straight.. and open.. and honest.. and direct. I want to be happy and smile to everyone and be accepted as an honest person. And yes, I'd love some sincere smiles back. There's too much drama in this life, man. Why can't we just live free of all this bull**it!? It would be nice... too nice i guess.

P.S. nothing against Obama here.. just thought this mask is pretty cool:)

When Enough is Enough

People are strange creatures, probably the strangest of all. After years of detailed exploration and study of their behavior, you could still end up being surprised by some bizarre and out-of-the-ordinary plus occasionally not-making-any-sense behavior. What a mixture, ha?

Well, when do we say ENOUGH is ENOUGH? Is one ‘ENOUGH’ ENOUGH though? It would be very simple and easy for us humans – especially the ones who try to put some sense in things – to be able to say ‘ENOUGH!’ and really go on without a single thought to it or backward glimpse. Are there any people out there you can’t get your head round? Then you know what I’m talking about. Exactly when you’ve made that tough but firm decision to say aloud ENOUGH, they would pop up just to test you – you and your honesty with your own self. No, they don’t want anything in particular. These people just want to bug you out and make you feel bad with yourself. So here you are again – nibbling at the bait in an attempt to establish communication or any normal kind of relation till it all comes back to the same situation where you have to say ENOUGH for 6-8-13-234-th time in order to feel OK. So there you are – lying to yourself on a daily basis. What a weak ass I would say. The thing is that I WOULD say this if I was eighteen again. It is remarkable how during our childhood and adolescence we are capable of being absolutely firm and definitive in our childish decisions and then the more we grow, the weaker we become with respect to final decisions and judgment – each time we try to find the way to compromise and excuse. This, on the other hand, is the road to becoming HUMAN rather than a little egocentric piece of a person.

To get down to it: Is it innocent to be naïve or it is naïve to be innocent? Put in other words, should we really ‘grow’ and try to become BETTER humans by forever believing that the good in people will prevail, or we are simply nibbling at that bait which will eventually lead to us been grilled and eaten up (*am I too stuck on this fish metaphor or what?*)!?

Now I know I’m growing up because – as much as I’m hating and trying to oppose it - I’m turning into a ‘weak ass’. What to do? I’m saying ENOUGH, again. But I promise I’ll be giving myself a little ‘SLAP-treat’ the next time I even dare to think of going beyond it.