Relation-ships

I skyped with a special friend of mine some time ago and it made me realize something as big as shocking - that there is probably a maximum of 3 persons in my life whom I can be completely and fully open and myself with and not try to pretend anything or play games. Yeah, games are fun... when you are eighteen. From then on why play? It is so burdensome this whole pretentious image-building exercise but yet everyone keeps on acting on a daily basis. This is so twisted..

As twisted a it is, it appears that playing games is a well-approved of strategy to go about getting laid, getting a guy/girl, one day hopefully this leading to an actual relationship, wedding, kids. The rest I am sure you know for yourselves. How exactly is me pretending to be somebody else rather than myself going to get me to the point of committing to someone else because I am his other half? Doesn't it sound all crazy?

Relationships, boyfriends, girlfriends, girlfriends, boyfriends, marriage - everyone's got something to say about it. But who really says anything and who's got the right to say something? Apparently single people are no good in this society (at least that's the public view, that same pretentious Public). Odd, having in mind that most of all those 'couples' out there are either not for each other - whatever that implies as per The Public; either playing games for the sake of it or simply being 'together' in order to BE because they are scared of being lonely. My question is: Why do people get on that ship, without being sure they have got a ticket?

First of all, why would I want someone, just anyone, by my side like an accessory? I would rather get a bag with the same effect, wouldn't I? You realize how superficial people's perspective on relationships is especially when they come to you and pop up the ever so annoying question: 'Is it serious?!' The word serious can be defined in so many ways, and yet, I can hardly think of anyone who refers to something else than 'serious as in ready for marriage and all that follows'. Why is this all that counts in this society? It doesn't matter whether one has a deep connection or cherishes the one next to them on a higher level?
One thing is for certain: If I want someone by my side, this someone has to erase everything else and give new meaning to things. He will show me another side of life which I never knew before, he would make me feel safe, grateful, good, enlightened.

It's only when I lose myself with someone else that I find myself.
Probably my favourite song of Depeche Mode; possibly the truest statement ever. Why? Many think that self-exploration comes with solitude and too much time spent on digging deep down within to understand yourself. Which is indeed correct.

There is only so much however to the lone discovery of the self, it is limited so you can't really obtain the thorough widescreen perspective of your self which was your initial intention. What then?
I have discovered just recently that one only finds themselves when they actually lose themselves with someone else. Yeah, exactly how complicated does that sound. Believe me, it isn't really. There is one big obstacle to reaching this and if you manage to go beyond it, your quest is almost solved. This great hurdle is the inability or more the fear of letting go one's self when being with someone, letting go of all controls, all what if-s, brakes or step backs in one's head.

What do you get? I knew you were going to ask that question since all of us humans are get-oriented, we hardly do things for the sake of it; I am assuming that maths in our head is very strongly planted. Back to the prize - you will get to experience something amazing, something so magical it is hard if not impossible to explain with words. From my experience it is as if your soul connects with this other person's soul and you end up feeling something so strong and pulling as if you have two souls. It probably sounds nuts what you are reading, only until  the moment you actually feel it and then there will be no mistake, you will recognize it!

How is all this going to end? Everybody wants to know, in advance. But you cannot, and you'd better not! No one can possibly foresee the future (yep, I do not quite believe in Nostradamus) and this is our blessing! Should we have known something will not last, we would not have started it in the first place and would have never gone through the joy and passion and soul connection that we have experienced. I/We are already lucky, you know, most humans never really got that far - to know this side of themselves. So spread your arms wide people and embrace a true connection!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGkbuptJo2I&ob=av2e

Sincerely yours,
Me

After the fall, I hear music

A friend of mine recently made a statement about me which doesn't seem to get out of my head. What he said was that I simply cannot stand silence. He dared me to stay in silence and peace and quiet to prove him wrong. Well, I couldn't!
Even though it is true that i never put my headphones away - except while sleeping and even then somehow I dream with music and random songs keep playing in my head - I wouldn't really agree with that statement. Or am i just afraid to actually admit the facts? And what if I don't like silence? Or maybe I like silence but I like music better?!

About MUSIC
Music is my way out of everything, my way to feel and feel good so why would I intentionally put a halt to this, right? Music helps me be me and see the world and even paint it in colour. It makes me forget, it makes me fly (I could probably make a song out this too haha). Some would argue that love is bigger than music and more efficient when it comes to making people fly in the skies. Music, however, is always there and won't lie to you. Or get tired of you. Or substitute you. Eternal love? Is it a myth? My opinion is that nothing is forever. I might be wrong though. Let me elaborate on that.

KEEPERS
Probably he is right though, my friend, with regards to my unease with silence. It is a well-known fact that I have a problem facing 'accusations' like this and an even bigger one in admitting such as non-fictional and rather true. Nevertheless, all this served to point out something very important to me. I asked myself why did he think of that and how could he know it and here is where I realized I am so damn lucky to have people who know me better than I know myself.
All those people are keepers.

You'd like to know who your real friends are? Do something incredibly stupid and then see who will still stand by you. Those are the people who have the guts to still love you and be there for you even when you are a complete jerk or act like a self-centered mean egoist. I would know. Yup, done all that. And they still love me and help me get up on my feet after every fall. Could that be eternal and a no-matter-what love? I hope so.
Love you guys!! xxx

Patriotism - the odd version

I do understand that i become quite controversial at times. At one point you will hear me spitting sh*t on my country for all the bad and repulsive things i know you find there (or at least i do since i know them..). Whenever I happen to be in this ALL-AGAINST mood of mine, anyone who tries to defend or say anything good with regards to those disgusting me things/people/characteristics/etc. will find it quite hard to deal with my anger. I become all crazy and furious and noone can put me down. But then..
Then I have my other mood - the nostalgic i-love-my-country and i-miss-all-the-good-things-there MOOD. I know, sounds random and so weird. We do have so much potential and so many bright/intelligent/smart/talented/amazing people out there... it is so sad though that the mass of idiots manage to take everything - from power/politics to popularity to tv/music, etc...   When i listen to something of quality, it makes me even more sad for the fact that if these people were abroad, they could actually be successful and famous and recognized. It gets me down.. It's like this nation has been created to only suffer and struggle and never make it.. (okay, we made it to EU.. but what...) It is surprising how stupid and ignorant people would actually feel okay and happy amidst everything.. Pity i'm not one.. Or am i blessed? Does struggle make us more and more unhappy or it leads to perfection?

Love = Loyalty = Love ?

It is incredible how we live life in a fast lane and never have the time to think about how fragile everything actually is.

Life is to be lived together with someone/s and not on our own.
When we find people we cherish and care about, we should never let go! No matter where they are, how they are, whom they are with, how stubborn they are, etc... Love equals loyalty and vice versa. We cannot claim that we love if we don't intend to be loyal, ForeveR! Of course we are all just human (you know what i mean). Loyalty in this case is implied in its stronger version which is namely mental and soul loyalty.

These are the secret messages that ''Hachiko - a dog's story'' sends out. A truly inspiring (maybe too simplistic at first sight) movie that tells the tale about man and his best friend - the dog. It is based on a true story which really happened during the 1920s in Japan and it reveals the strong connection that can exist between a man and a dog - i personally believe it is probably stronger than relations between people. Hachi gets so attached to its master that after his sudden death, the poor dog keeps on waiting for him on the same train station for nine years hoping it will see the day when he - The Master - will come out of the station gate AGAIN. This cute dog, an animal, manages to express better than any human how persons marking our hearts and lives stay with us forever, how lost we can be without them and how the severe pain of missing them wouldn't let us have a 'normal' life anymore.

I can only advise you to get a couple napkins and watch the movie.
I can only hope that this world needs more of those movies for romantic rather than simply 'reminding' reasons (reminding in the sense that they show us what we are supposed to be like, do and feel).

My final urge is the following: let's live in a way that we will not regret because 'tomorrow is never promised today' (quoting Alicia Keys - Like you'll never see me again) .. and please

Love Like You'll Never See each other Again..