We are CONDITIONED (and I'd like to highlight this word as much as I can) to 'think' that fear and love are antonyms, the opposite sides of a coin, 180 degrees far off.
But hey, I've a revelation to offer you right this second: Fear and Love are not the opposite sides of a coin; instead, they are one and the same thing seen
from a different angle. And you yourself are the only one who's got the power to change the
angle. The question is: Why would you and why do you?
When you
love, you simply love - without any further thoughts, considerations,
expectations, conditions, circumstances. When any of these ‘bad boys’ come into
the picture though, love begins to step backwards and fear starts to settle in.
This unfortunate transition is quite easy to spot in today’s relationships.
People tend to fear of losing their loved one to someone else, of boredom
settling in, etc. As soon as we start to fear, we start to act differently and
this is immediately felt by the other side in the equation. This change in mental
predisposition and attitude is what eventually changes everything and usually
materializes those same fears. Do not get into that vicious circle, I beg you. I had to learn the hard way - even though I trust all hardships are simply exercises to make us better and stronger. Love
without anything further or in between; no need to fear.
Almost
identical… but not so much - the topic of suffering.
I read today the following which
completely resonates with my recent discoveries: Suffering is the result of
clinging. Clinging as in holding on to something to the point of desperation.
Remember this: you can’t cling forever, it gets tiresome and you would have to
let go, one way or another. Let go now, take a leap of faith, win more and lose
less by letting time and space offer you new horizons. Stop clinging to one
thing. It is like eating only potatoes, how long will you be able to sustain
this?
Very
related to fear is of course worry so I feel the need to touch up on this too. Similarly to fear and clinging, worry is useless. Why? Because worrying
is practically equal to planning for a negative future. All that worrying can
do it shift your focus so that you no longer pay attention to the good stuff
happening around you that deserve celebration. It has been said a million
times, but doesn’t hurt to repeat this once again: worrying today does not take
your troubles away, it only takes today’s peace away.
Think positive
and look for positive in order to truly FIND positive. And yes, it does works.
Just try it!
